For the longest time, my life centered so much around others. I was constantly thinking things like “was it stupid to say that,” “do they think I’m weird,” “what if I say this and they don’t like me?” Even though I felt independent, I was living a life based off of what other people expected and wanted from me. To be real, I just wasn’t being 100% me. My anxiety and depression played a HUGE role in this, although looking back I didn’t even realize at the time that that’s not how most people were living. Then, after moving to Chicago + getting out of a long-term relationship I suddenly had this urge to re-brand myself. You see, the town I grew up in was for lack of better words…garbage. It’s one of those small towns where everyone is into everyone’s business and everyone has an opinion of what other people are doing. The brutal honesty is just that people are so bored with their own lives and the fact that there’s nothing to do, that they worry about other peoples.
So when I got into my first couple of months in Chicago, I sat myself down and honestly told myself over and over that I was a bad bitch and that I was unstoppable. I’m serious people, if you keep telling yourself positive affirmations will really make you believe them. So eventually, I had built up a ton of confidence which is something I never had before but also didn’t realize I was missing. Suddenly, I was a force of nature. I started talking all the time in class, I started telling people no more often, and I started to see my goals so much more clearly and what I needed to do to attain them. MANIFEST YOUR GOALS GIRL INVEST IN YOURSELF.
A lot, of the time I see that women are the people that have the biggest issue with allowing themselves to be unapologetic. As women, we are taught to make ourselves smaller and fit into the parts of society that women are “supposed” to fit in. We are supposed to carry ourselves with poise. We are supposed to be dainty, and kind. Gentle and sweet and mannerly and all things nice. When we detest those things, we are seen as three things: inappropriate, slutty, or manly. Welllll, I say SCREW THAT. In my little journey toward confidence and unapologetic-ness I found that the best way to live, is to live in a way where you are the least concerned with what other people think. So if I want to not wear a bra, I’m going to not wear a bra. If I want to say “fuck this bullshit” in my blog post, I’m going to say it. If I want to get political, I’m going to get political because that’s just what I care about. Once you start living a life where you are 100% doing it for you and no one else, you will find you are living a much happier life.