Category: lifestyle

My mind flows the most freely when I am stressed. Before sitting down to write this, I told myself I was going to lay in bed all day today. It’s raining, and it’s cold. That alone can take my mood from a 10 to a 3 in a matter of minutes. So that combined with the normal issues of life puts me at a strong 1 today. However, when I laid down, I kept thinking “what do I wish someone would tell me when I am down?” So here we are. It feels like you have such a huge circle sometimes, but then when the bad days roll around it really is like *crickets.* This is of no one’s fault, especially when you aren’t reaching out and telling people you need help because hey, everyone gets busy. Is this a post of me mostly just babbling…yes! So here we go.

Stop living in any other time besides right now

I wish I could actually tattoo this on to my forehead. If you are living in any time besides right now, there is no chance of you enjoying the moment you are in. Stop thinking about what could’ve been in the past, or what you wish you would’ve done differently. Stop thinking about deadlines and what-if scenarios. Although it sounds a little chaotic and stressful to stop planning or thinking (especially if you are a micro-manager like me,) sometimes it is exactly what you need.

Unplug

There’re so many things happening in the world right now. There’s a hurricane here, and a wildfire there, and Peggy’s baby is sick with cancer, and Roger’s dog just got hit by a car. Social media can be so amazing. It’s given me a way to connect with so many amazing people, and it also allows me to be up to date with what is happening in the world. At the same time though, that can become so consuming. You can either get in the comparison game and compare everyone’s best moments on social media to your not-so-great moments in real life…or you can just become overwhelmed with how utterly downhill the world seems to be going and the fact that it feels like there’s nothing you can do (not true.) So, with that being said take some time to just be in the space you are in. Stop being concerned with the world that is in your phone.

Be kind to yourself 

We are humans. We have good days, and we have bad days. Sometimes we even have bad weeks, or bad months. That is truly just life! When those days, or weeks, or months come, and they will, be kind to yourself. Don’t beat yourself up for being human and give yourself the time you need to be okay. Healing is not linear, sometimes we think we are getting better and then we get bad again. But the sun will come out eventually and it can’t be dark forever. Don’t forget you should be the most kind to yourself.

Stop listening to other people

I don’t know how else to phrase this, but just stop. Stop listening to other people’s expectations. Stop listening to what other people want you to be. Stop listening to how the world is telling you to feel, or act, or dress. Sometimes you must be selfish in life, and sometimes in those times of selfishness you don’t fit into the boxes people want you to fit into. WHO CARES? This is your life, and if you are living it for anyone besides yourself you aren’t going to live a life that is fulfilled. Shut out the noise and listen to yourself. There are over 6 billion people in the world, the opinions of a few are truly irrelevant.

For the longest time, my life centered so much around others. I was constantly thinking  things like “was it stupid to say that,” “do they think I’m weird,” “what if I say this and they don’t like me?” Even though I felt independent, I was living a life based off of what other people expected and wanted from me. To be real, I just wasn’t being 100% me. My anxiety and depression played a HUGE role in this, although looking back I didn’t even realize at the time that that’s not how most people were living. Then, after moving to Chicago + getting out of a long-term relationship I suddenly had this urge to re-brand myself. You see, the town I grew up in was for lack of better words…garbage. It’s one of those small towns where everyone is into everyone’s business and everyone has an opinion of what other people are doing. The brutal honesty is just that people are so bored with their own lives and the fact that there’s nothing to do, that they worry about other peoples.

So when I got into my first couple of months in Chicago, I sat myself down and honestly told myself over and over that I was a bad bitch and that I was unstoppable. I’m serious people, if you keep telling yourself positive affirmations will really make you believe them. So eventually, I had built up a ton of confidence which is something I never had before but also didn’t realize I was missing. Suddenly, I was a force of nature. I started talking all the time in class, I started telling people no more often, and I started to see my goals so much more clearly and what I needed to do to attain them. MANIFEST YOUR GOALS GIRL INVEST IN YOURSELF.

A lot, of the time I see that women are the people that have the biggest issue with allowing themselves to be unapologetic. As women, we are taught to make ourselves smaller and fit into the parts of society that women are “supposed” to fit in. We are supposed to carry ourselves with poise. We are supposed to be dainty, and kind. Gentle and sweet and mannerly and all things nice. When we detest those things, we are seen as three things: inappropriate, slutty, or manly. Welllll, I say SCREW THAT. In my little journey toward confidence and unapologetic-ness I found that the best way to live, is to live in a way where you are the least concerned with what other people think. So if I want to not wear a bra, I’m going to not wear a bra. If I want to say “fuck this bullshit” in my blog post, I’m going to say it. If I want to get political, I’m going to get political because that’s just what I care about. Once you start living a life where you are 100% doing it for you and no one else, you will find you are living a much happier life.